I live here in France

Posted on May 5th, 2009

There were many things that I missed about Paris when I returned to
Santa Cruz after my apprenticeship there. I missed the cafe society and
its edgy, smoky, Gauloise, elegance. I missed the abundant produce
markets and fromageries. I missed the urban style of women's dress, so
feminine and thoughtful. I missed all the friends I had made in another
language. But most of all I missed the skyline of Paris. I tried to find
it here. I drove up to San Francisco and parked at the Coit Tower.
Peering across the city skyline I saw a few spires of churches and of
course the strange jutting point of the TransAmerica building. I longing
looked at the bridges, both magnificent and impressive.

The tricky bay, with its hidden deathly currents, draped the background.
But grossly crowding my view, were flat tar papered, grey rooftops of
apartment buildings, pier buildings, and offices. Why did I not feel the
awe inspiring desire to lean on the edge of the railing and know I was
the luckiest girl alive to be seeing what I was seeing, like I did in
Paris? I was not in love with everything, like I was in Paris. The food
was good, yet not as good as Paris. Women dressed in practical clothes,
so unstylish here. The wine was exciting yet without the terroir of the
Gauls. I was homesick for a place that was not my home. The assault to
my senses was uncomfortable. I longed for the beauty of life I had
experienced in Paris. I wanted to live there someday, always dreaming of
the perfection of the place.

Cafe De Jour

Twenty eight years later, last Friday evening, we went downtown Santa
Cruz to see a movie. It was dark when the movie let out and we walked
back to our car. The streets were full of people. It was lively and
Pacific Avenue was lit with tiny white lights in the trees. There was a
lot of laughter and the restaurants were bustling. It was very nice. I
looked around and realized that anyone visiting this town at this moment
would see only its beach town beauty.

Ocean

The underpinnings of Santa Cruz were well hidden, the homeless problems,
the budget deficits, the water shortages, the need for a nice hotel at
the beach, all the pieces of reality that it takes to make a place work.

Would I feel the same way about Paris if I were to live there? Would I
forget to look at the skyline that seduced me in the same way that I
ignore the Pacific Ocean that called to me so many years ago? Would I
get so busy with my life, and it’s minutiae, that it wouldn't matter
were I lived half the time?

Garden

I know now that I do not want to move my life to Paris. I love Santa
Cruz. I can visit Paris or other places of old and new beauty, but what
I look at everyday here needs to be splendid too. Imagine the place we
could create if we all took a moment everyday to make something
beautiful? How do we start this? How do we look at the place we live
like we look at the places we visit? We live in a land as beautiful and
bountiful as France and yet we travel abroad and don't bring back those
sensibilities.

I propose that we take a challenge, a challenge to make our place as
good and lovely as it truly is. I won't suggest anything, it should be
individual, beauty is subjective.

An old friend Teddi, is one of those people who cannot live without
turning what she experiences into things of beauty. She confessed to me
once, that sometimes she dyes the eggs in the egg cartons with food
coloring, just for the simple pleasure of seeing the pastel colors when
she opens the carton for her morning breakfast.

Teddi made these cookies for me one night as she hung crystals in her
west facing kitchen window. She wanted to catch the refracting light of
the sunset as she cooked dinner each evening. I sat on the stool and
watched her spin straw into beauty. Teddi called them Ronnie's Oatmeal
cookies. I have it pasted on the front page of one of my spiral binders
of collected recipes and have made it many times over the years. When I
make these cookies I never fail to think about the rainbows from the
sunset bouncing of the walls of Teddi's kitchen. Ronnie's Oatmeal
Cookies

Heat oven to 325 F

Cream together

* 4 oz of salted butter 
* 1/2 cup white sugar 
* 1/2 cup brown sugar

Add:

* 1 egg 
* 1 TB milk 
* 1 Tsp vanilla

Combine and sift in a separate bowl:

* 1 cup all purpose flour
* 1/2 tsp soda 
* 1/2 tsp baking powder
* 1/4 tsp salt 
* 1/2 tsp cinnamon 
* 1/4 tsp nutmeg 
* 1/4tsp cloves

Mix the dry ingredients into the butter mixture until incorporated, then
add

1 cup oatmeal, not instant 1/4 cup raisins

With a spoon place the cookies in 1 1/2 clusters on a cookie sheet. If it
is not a Teflon cookie sheet line it with a silpat or parchment paper.

Cookie

Bake until done 10-12 minutes